I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Houston, we have a squirter
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
