I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
