spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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