Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
