Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
