ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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