I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
