please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
