The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
