Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
