So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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