Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
