We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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