Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
everyone is single if you try hard enough
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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