You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
