you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
