let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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