that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
