We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
