THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
