I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
