for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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