ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
