when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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