A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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