whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
