What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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