google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
