Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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