What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
