Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
