barbara walters just said penis...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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