Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
