She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
