why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Text me some of your sweat
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
