I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
