Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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