dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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