Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
