He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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