pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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