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At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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