is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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