guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
