yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yo dont text me then not text me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
