What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
