Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
