Porn is love you can see.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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