So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
