i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I still have a little drunk in my system
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
