foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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