he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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