her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
